Help! My Spouse is Absolutely Oblivious to My Concerns!

Does your partner, someone at the workplace, a family member exhibit these traits? They may fit into the classification that I call ‘The great ape’ Subscribe for more information about dealing with these oblivious, self-centered people.

  • “What’s your problem? It felt good for me.”
  • There are holes in their conscience.  This person will be horrified when their wallet gets stolen even though you saw them take money from the communion plate last week.  The great ape type knows the rules and wants other people to follow them.  They will talk all about following the rules themselves and then be mad at you for noticing they don’t!
  • “Do whatever you need to get what you want.”
  • You’re about to go bankrupt, a fire gutted the kitchen last night, you ask your spouse to sit down and talk about the money situation and they say, “Why worry about tomorrow?  Can’t we ever have any fun together?”
  • This person sees themselves as the hero of the story.  Everyone else is out to get the hero.  If you go along with them, they are all charm.  Disagree, and you too will be one of the zombies the hero has to shoot their way through!
  • This person commits the same act in different ways thinking you won’t ever catch them.
  • Mistakes are opportunities to blame someone else and proclaim their own victim status.
  • “People lie about me all the time and they get me in trouble.”
  • “I didn’t steal from anybody that couldn’t see me coming.”
  • The rules are for other people and this person will take it as a personal insult if you try to apply them to everyone.

 

Posted by Lorinne

Lorinne is a practicing therapist in Billings, Montana. She graduated from Abilene Christian University in 1995 with a master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy. She has worked with emotionally disturbed children, victims of sexual and domestic abuse, families in crisis and women in transition ever since.

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